The Effects of Being Honest
by wild-angel82
Summary: My version of what might have happened after the I love you more than the chopper scene in episode 2.20. C&A.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own those characters. I love them with my whole heart though!

Spoilers: Through episode 2.20.

**Chapter 1**

'I love you more than the chopper' those words echoed in Claire's head for a split second. She looked at Alex and smiled at him pitifully. He was so drunk and the statement coming from his mouth now sounded ridiculous.

"You don't love me, you love to drink." She replied playfully. She knew he was in a bad shape and he really did need some relaxation, but she didn't think he would start professing his love for her. And even though she knew it wasn't true and he wouldn't remember that in the morning, to hear him say those three little words was something really comforting. It made her feel safe in a way, even though he didn't really mean it.

"No, but it's true." He insisted. "I do love you Claire. You're the only thing in my life that is true, the only thing that makes sense. You're the only person I could always count on."

Claire felt that Alex's declarations were getting more and more dangerous, so she decided to get him home.

"Let's get you home before you propose to me and I say yes." She laughed and helped him stand.

"But I don't wanna go home, I wanna stay here." Alex tried to resist her, but he was too drunk to really fight, even a pregnant woman.

"I so don't wanna be you tomorrow." She joked and put her arm around him "Come on."

"You're the boss." He saluted and they walked up to Claire's ute. Actually Claire walked and Alex wobbled. They got in the car and Claire bucked Alex up, because obviously he wasn't capable of doing that himself. They didn't really speak much on the way to Killarney. Alex once again tried to tell Claire that he loved her, but she didn't pay that much attention to his declarations of love. After all, he had drunk like a zillion beers, so he clearly was delirious in what he was saying. It still felt weird for Claire to hear those words coming from his mouth.

When they finally pulled up at Killarney, Claire wanted to get Alex to bed as fast as possible and come back to Drovers before anybody starts to worry. She got out of the ute and walked over to Alex's side of the car.

"OK, big guy, time to go to bed." She said as she opened his door.

"Are we home yet?" he asked innocently.

"Alex!" she reprimanded him and looked at him meaningfully.

"Alright, I'm going." He answered with a smile and got out of the car. But as soon as he did, he almost fell.

"Geez." Claire sighed and put his arm around Alex. "I guess letting you walk on your own is not a good idea, huh?"

"I wouldn't think so." He replied as Claire started walking him towards the house. And since he was a little bit taller and heavier than she was, it wasn't an easy task. Alex was making it even worse pretending that he couldn't walk at all.

"OK, either you stop, or I'm going to leave you here." She threatened, but couldn't help but laugh.

"You're so beautiful when you're pretending to be angry." He said with a grin on his face and Claire totally melted. He needed to stop with those drunken compliments or she might actually believe him. Fortunately for her, they were right outside the door, so she opened it and lead Alex to his room. She practically threw him onto the bed, happy that this horrible weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Literally.

For a moment she just looked at him lying on the bed with his eyes closed. For a second she thought that he looked kind of cute, but immediately tried to get rid of those ridiculous thoughts.

She decided to do one more thing before she went home. She positioned Alex on the bed so that he was comfortable and took his shoes off. When she was getting up, Alex suddenly moved his hand, knocking her over, straight into his arms. She quickly got up, but lost her balance again and ended up falling onto the bed, right next to Alex. When she tried to get up, Alex suddenly grabbed her hand and wouldn't let her stand up.

"Alex, what are you doing?" she asked a little bit confused, but Alex didn't say anything. For a moment he just kept looking at her, to Claire's great surprise.

"God, you're beautiful." He suddenly broke the silence after a while and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Okie dokie, no more beers for you." She said uncomfortably and wanted to get up, but Alex still wouldn't let go of her hand.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" he asked and moved his face closer to hers.

"I don't think you did." She replied trying to break free from his embrace. "But I also don't remember you ever being this drunk." She paused for a second. "OK, it's time for me to…"

Unfortunately she didn't manage to finish that sentence as she felt Alex's lips on hers. She was totally stunned. She had no idea how to behave, what to say, what to do. A thousand of thoughts started whirling inside her head, the first and foremost being that Alex is drunk and that this is ridiculous. But when she finally managed to pull away from him, she didn't get up and run away like her mind was telling her to. Instead, she just stayed on the bed and looked into Alex's eyes.

"Alex, what the hell are you…" she tried to ask, but Alex interrupted her again, placing yet another kiss on her lips.

"You're so beautiful." He repeated as he started to kiss her neck. He tried to pull her closer to him, but she was too stunned to move. "You're so beautiful and so kind. You always try to help others and you've helped me so many times in the past. You're the only person that really truly cares for me. And I love you for that."

"Alex, please." She begged, but he wouldn't stop. And suddenly she realized that she didn't want him to stop. If she really wanted to go, she could have been on her way back to Drovers a long time ago. But she wasn't. She was in Alex's bed, letting him kiss her in a way that she never thought he would.

"Shhhh, don'talk." He placed his finger on her lips and delicately ran it through her chin. She shivered. She didn't think Alex was capable of evoking such emotions in her. She was her mate, this shouldn't feel like this, this should be ugly and disgusting. This should be like kissing your brother. Yet it was more amazing than anything any man has ever made her feel.

When Alex placed his fingers on one of her shirt buttons, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist. Her mind was telling her to scream and run away, but her emotions were telling her to stay and give in. She knew he was drunk and she knew she should be smarter, that she should stop this from going any further. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't understand why it felt so right…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Claire woke up about 5:30 the next day. For a second she seemed to forget where she was, but when she saw Alex lying next to her, she immediately realized what she had done.

'Oh My God.' she thought as she jumped out of bed in panic. She hurriedly gathered all her clothes and got dressed, trying to make as little noise as she could. She needed to get away from there, she needed to get away from him. She couldn't let him see her like this. Not yet anyway. She knew that sooner or later they would have to face it, talk about it, but now was not the time. Now she needed to get away from this place that was suffocating her. She took one last look at Alex and left.

When she got into her ute, she felt like she was having a panic attack. Her hands were trembling and she couldn't collect her thoughts.

'What have I done?' she asked herself, but couldn't come up with a logical answer as to why she slept with Alex. This was so unlike her, she couldn't understand herself. Alex was her best friend and now their friendship was ruined because of what she had done. Sure, Alex had initiated it, but she was the one who let it happen. Plus he was drunk and she was sober, which makes it completely her fault. 'So stupid!' she hit the steering wheel with her left hand. The same hand that Alex was holding yesterday for so long. 'Geez, I have to stop this.' She thought to herself again and started the car.

When she got home she wasn't at all surprised to see Tess and Meg already up in front of the house. After all, it was after 6 and they were running a farm. Tess was doing something with the saddle and Meg was getting stuff for breakfast from her veggie garden.

"Where in God's name have you been?" Tess asked as soon as Claire got out of her car.

"I… I dropped Alex off last night and I didn't feel like driving home, so I spent the night over there."

"Well I saw you driving off with Alex, but we were still a little worried about you." Meg explained. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I was just really tired last night, so I didn't wanna risk driving."

"Of course." Meg smiled. "Well, I'm gonna go and finish breakfast. It will be ready in about 15 minutes."

"Thanks Meg." Claire smiled back.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Meg asked again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure." Claire replied and sent Meg an assuring look. Meg headed back to the house. As soon as she was gone, Tess looked at Claire meaningfully.

"Oh you are so not OK!" she almost screamed and gave Claire 'Tell me right now' look.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Claire tried to pretend everything was fine, but she knew her sister wasn't that stupid to believe her.

"Oh give me more credit, big sister. I could see just from the way you were driving that something was not right. What is it? You can tell me." Tess pleaded. Claire looked at her sister with the most intense expression on her face. Tess didn't remember Claire being that tense in a long time. She knew this must be big.

"Will you promise not to judge?" Claire looked at her with a serious look on her face.

"Oh do I ever…"

"Just promise." She begged.

"OK, OK, I promise." Tess swore and looked impatiently at her sister. Claire took a deep breath and couldn't really believe she was going to say what she was about to say.

"IsleptwithAlex!" she said as fast as she humanly could. There, she said it.

"You what?" Tess couldn't believe what she was hearing. This has got to be some kind of a mistake. Claire couldn't have…

"I slept with Alex." She repeated, this time slowly and making sure that Tess was hearing everything right. She got her proof of that when Tess dropped her saddle straight on her foot.

"Ouch!" she shouted disoriented and didn't know whether to take care of her foot and the saddle or go back to staring in disbelief at her sister.

"Are you OK?" Claire asked concerned, as the saddle dropping looked quite dangerous.

"I'm fine, really." Tess answered as she moved her foot to make sure she really was OK. "But please tell me you're joking about Alex."

"I wish I was, trust me I do. But it happened. It was so stupid and irresponsible, but it happened." She said, still not being able to come to terms with the fact that she slept with Alex Ryan.

"But how? Why? I mean I knew Alex was drunk, but I didn't know you were too?"

"The thing is that I wasn't."

"That's too bad, 'cause that would explain a lot." Tess still couldn't believe this whole thing. After a while she asked "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking." She sighed. "I don't know how it happened. But when he kissed me and told me that I was beautiful and that he loved me, something just broke in me." She said with the saddest expression ever.

"Alex told you that he loves you?" Tess continued with the questions, trying to make sure that everything that she was hearing was right.

"Yes. But he was drunk and he didn't mean it and I know that. I know that, but I still couldn't resist him. Why Tess? Why did I let this happen?" she asked as small tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey." Tess hurried and gave her sister a hug. "It's going to be OK."

"No, it's not going to be OK, it's not." Claire continued. "Because Alex and I are best mates. And now we slept together and it's gonna screw up everything, our friendship, our business… Everything!"

"No, it's not. You'll work it out." Tess tried to comfort her, but it wasn't an easy task.

"You know what the worst part is? That he didn't know what he was doing, because he was drunk. I, on the other hand, have no excuse. I was perfectly sober and still I let that happen. Oh he's gonna hate me. Tess, what am I going to do?"

"He is not going to hate you." Tess assured her. "But I am if you are not going to get breakfast with me." She smiled. "We'll talk about this later, OK?"

"OK." Claire smiled back and they walked towards the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A couple of hours later Claire and Tess were in the kitchen getting some lunch before going back to work later. Claire was still pretty shaken up after what happened between her and Alex. She knew it was going to change the relations between them and she was terrified to find out to what extend.

"What am I going to do?" she asked Tess as she was pouring herself some coffee. "I can't look Alex in the eye ever again. Hell, I can't be in the same room as Alex ever again!" she said firmly.

"Yeah, like you will be able to avoid Alex for the rest of your life!" Tess said almost laughing.

"Then what am I supposed to do? What do I do? How do I act around him?" she started panicking. "He is my best friend, what is going to happen to us now? Bloody idiot! I'm a bloody idiot!" she was getting more and more mad at herself.

"Don't think like that, Claire." Tess tried to comfort her. "You are not an idiot. And getting mad at yourself is not going to change what happened. You need to focus on the future and how you're going to handle the things with Alex."

"The problem is I have no idea, Tess. My relationship with Alex was always clear – we were friends, we fought, we made fun of each other, we teased each other about our love life… But now everything is just going to be so messed up. Why did I have to be so stupid?"

"Claire!" Tess looked at her sister meaningfully.

"Right." She stopped. "Focus on the future." She paused for a moment. "Man, my life is gonna suck from now on." She sighed.

"Don't worry, we will find a way to work it out! You and Alex have been friends forever, there is nothing that can destroy your friendship."

"Except us sleeping together." Claire pointed out and Tess had to hand it to her how difficult that situation was going to bed.

Suddenly they heard Nick's voice.

"Ladies!" he called out as he apparently entered the house without knocking. "Me and Alex are desperate for some affection." He joked.

"I guess whatever way you decide to handle this thing with Alex, you'd better start working on it now." Tess said meaningfully as Claire started to really panic.

"Oh my God, I can't do this. I can't see him right now." She said as she hurried to get out of the kitchen, but it was too late. She already bumped into Alex on her way out.

"Now this is gonna be weird." Tess whispered into Claire's ear. Claire sent her a 'don't even start' look and quickly turned away to avoid Alex's sight. 'Man this is going to be interesting' she thought as she finally decided to face Alex. She knew she was going to have to do that sooner or later. And sooner seemed like a better idea.

"Hello ladies." Alex spoke after a minute of silence. He smiled as he reached out to their fridge for a beer. "What have you been up to?"

Claire was waiting for some kind of a comment, or at least a meaningful look, something that would indicate Alex felt as uncomfortable as she did. Unfortunately nothing of that sort happened. She was absolutely baffled by his behavior. How could he just come here and take her beer like nothing ever happened? Did it not bother him that they slept together.

"Nothing much." Tess answered, also a little surprised by Alex's behavior. He took the beer, opened it and sat at their kitchen table. She shot Claire a 'what the heck…' look, but Claire shot back an 'I have no idea' look, so they just waited patiently until Alex was going to say something about the previous night. He never did.

"So." Alex finally said as he took another gulp of his beer. "I'm not sure what you're ladies doing in the evening, but Nick and I figured we could go to the pub and have a little fun. It's been a while since we did that."

"Yeah, we thought it would be nice to spend some time together." Nick added. "What do you say?"

"I'm not sure it's such a great idea." Claire said looking at Tess meaningfully. "I mean there is so much work to be done here and all."

"Oh we know, we know. But you don't have to stay long and you don't have to drink very much." Alex cocked her eyebrows at her.

"Sure, that's your domain." She answered a little sarcastically, but Alex didn't seem to get the reference.

"We'll be there." Tess answered even though she was fully aware of her sister's facial expression.

"Well, we should head out. We just wanted to invite you in person. Have a nice day ladies." Alex said and walked towards the door.

"Yeah, have a nice day. See you at the pub hopefully." Nick soon followed his brother and the Ryans left Drover.

Tess and Claire for a moment contemplated what just happened.

"That was weird." Tess finally summed up the conversation.

"Yeah, but it wasn't the weird I was expecting." Claire said, still trying to understand Alex's behavior.

"I know!" Tess almost shouted. "It was weird, because it wasn't weird."

"Exactly." Claire agreed. "Why wasn't it weird? Why did he come here like nothing ever happened and drank our beer? Why didn't he look at me funny? Why didn't he say something weird? Why didn't he make a joke about yesterday?"

"I don't know." Tess sighed. "Maybe he doesn't want you guys to feel weird, so he decided to just put that night behind you."

"But how can he do that? I mean can we do that? Can we just pretend like it never happened? I don't think I can, Tess. Even if he's not weird, I feel weird around him." Claire paused for a second and added "Did I tell you how stupid I am?"

"Yes you did and no, you are not stupid." Tess assured her.

"Yeah, whatever." Claire said and finished her coffee. "Well, I gotta get back to work." She said after a while and it was obvious that she was going to deal with everything the only way that she really could – bury herself in her work. She couldn't help but think about Alex and why he didn't even seem to care about the whole thing. Sure, she wasn't a teenager whose boyfriend turned out not to be as cute as she thought he was, but still sleeping with Alex did meant something to her. It wasn't something that just happened and was not to be talked about ever again. She needed to know how Alex really felt about it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Remind me again what I am doing here?" Claire asked as Tess was dragging her towards the Gungellan pub.

"You are here to relax in a nice company." Tess explained as he winked at her sister.

"I'm not sure nice company is a good way to describe it. Have you forgotten about me and Alex… you know?"

"Of course I haven't forgotten. But maybe you and Alex will get a chance to talk and explain everything."

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to talking to Alex."

"Oh come on, Claire." Tess took her sister's hand and motioned for her to hurry up. "Everything will be fine between you and Alex. And now would you please move your feet and stop thinking about it so much."

"Yeah, it's no big deal. I slept with my best friend and he won't even talk to me about it. No need to get all worked up about it." Claire said with a note of sarcasm.

"Claire!" Tess was getting impatient.

"OK, OK, I'm coming." She promised and the two of them entered the pub. Nick and Alex were already waiting at one of the tables. Nick smiled motioned for them to come over. Claire sighed and gulped before she and Tess walked over to the boys' table. She still wasn't sure how she was supposed to act around Alex and she had no idea how Alex would act around her. She thought that maybe this time he would act the way he should – all weirded out and insecure. Just like she felt.

"Hey." She said quietly as her and Tess were taking their places.

"Nice of you to join us, Claire." Alex said smirking. "What do you want to drink? I would assume beer is out of the question." He laughed.

That was definitely not the tone of someone who feels uncomfortable. Claire quickly looked away so that she didn't have to look Alex in the eyes.

"Orange juice will be fine." She quickly answered and Alex turned to Tess. "You?"

"I will gladly take a beer." She smiled.

"Coming right up." Alex answered and went to the bar to fetch the dinks for Claire and Tess. Claire looked nervously at her sister, but the uncomfortable moment was interrupted by Nick.

"How he can drink beer after yesterday I will never understand." Nick laughed.

"After yesterday?" Tess asked curious.

"Yeah, I haven't seen him so stoned in a long time. He can't even remember how he got home."

As soon as Nick said it Claire and Tess shot each other understanding glances. Nick noticed that.

"Is everything OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything is just fine." Claire answered with a big sigh. At the same moment Alex came back to their table with the drinks.

"There you go." He placed the drinks in front of Tess and Claire and put a bottle of beer for himself. He brought back the tray to the counter and came back to his seat. "So, anything interesting happened recently?" he asked with an ignorant smile on his face.

Claire had to almost squeeze her fist when she heard that question. She couldn't believe he didn't remember anything and that she was the only one who felt that strange tension between the two of them. She couldn't believe Alex was so lucky not to remember it, while she was being eaten up inside by the memories. Tess noticed the expression on Claire's face and was worried about her reaction to everything that was happening. She feared that Claire was going to lose it and starts confronting Alex about the previous night, but fortunately nothing of that sort happened. At least not for the time being.

"Nothing much happening." Tess answered. "Same old, same old at Drovers." She added and felt very uncomfortable herself saying that. "You know, a lot of work keeps us all busy. No time for anything unusual."

"You gals are working yourself to death." Nick joked.

"Yeah, well, there is a farm to run and if we don't do the work then no one will." Claire answered a little harshly.

"I guess so." Nick smiled. "You're doing so great at Drovers. I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks Nick." Claire smiled back at him. "I'm just surprised you get any work done with one of you constantly being drunk." She just couldn't help it.

"Excuse me?" Alex asked, sensing that something was wrong with Claire. He didn't know what it was, so he decided to defend himself. "I am not constantly drunk, I just like an occasional drink."

"Whatever Alex." Claire said in an unpleasant tone and Alex started to really get a little bit annoyed.

"Hey, what is your problem?" he asked.

"I don't have a problem! Do you have a problem?" she answered nonchalantly.

"Then what's with the comments?"

"Just stating the obvious." she said matter of factly.

"This evening was supposed to be fun. If your idea of fun is coming here and insulting me then maybe you shouldn't have come here at all." Alex was getting really angry, especially that he had no idea where all this was coming from.

"Maybe I shouldn't have." Claire agreed with him and rose up from their table. "This was definitely a mistake." She added and stormed out of the pub.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"What the hell is her problem?" Alex asked baffled as he was watching Claire almost run out of the pub.

"It's nothing." Tess said avoiding Alex's eyes. "She's just had some difficult stuff to deal with back at Drovers. That can get to you, you know."

"I'm sure it can." Alex agreed. "She still seemed a little out of it today."

"Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go and talk to her." She said and headed out.

Claire was standing by the ute looking not very amused. Tess really felt for her, because the situation her sister found herself was really difficult. She was worried about Claire and about her relationship with Alex.

"Hey." She almost whispered as she walked up to Claire. "You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered, although Tess could see that this was obviously a lie. But getting Claire to admit she wasn't fine wasn't really Tess' main agenda for the evening. Whether Claire admitted it or not didn't really make a difference. "I'm sorry I ruined our evening." Claire added after a while.

"Don't worry about it." Tess assured her.

"I just couldn't stay there, drink beer or whatever and pretend like everything is wonderful and fine. Because it's not. Alex may not remember what happened, but I do and I just wanna scream. Not that this is gonna help the situation, but maybe it will make me feel better." She sighed and almost laughed at her own words.

"I can't believe he doesn't remember what happened." Tess continued the conversation.

"Yeah, me either." Claire sighed. "Or actually I do believe it. That's what happens when you drink one beer too many. I should have known better. I should have known he was not going to remember a thing. And first of all, I should have known that he was not being himself when he was saying all those things to me. I can't believe it took him a drunken love confession to get me to sleep with him. This is ridiculous. It's like I wasn't even myself when all of that was happening. Can you please explain that to me, because I can't even understand my own actions."

"Well, maybe subconsciously you wanted it." Tess tried to answer Claire's question.

"Wanted what?"

"Sleep with Alex."

"Are you crazy?" Claire seemed indignant. "Why would I wanna sleep with Alex?"

"I don't know, maybe you have feelings for him or something." Tess wondered.

"Do you even hear yourself?" Claire snapped. "You're being ridiculous!"

"Hey, you're the one who slept with him, not me. I'm just trying to figure out why, just like you asked."

"Well, I was looking for a more reasonable explanation like 'Someone possessed your soul that night' or 'You were temporarily insane' or something to that effect.

Tess laughed. "Now do you even your _yourself_?" she asked still with a smile on her face.

"What? Those are the only logical explanations of why I could have slept with Alex. I think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wondering why I did that."

"Would you take it back if you could?" Tess looked at her sister questioningly.

"What do you mean?" Claire didn't seem to understand Tess' question.

"Well, if you could turn back time and relive that night once again, would you have walked away from him?"

Claire didn't really know what answer to give Tess. She hated the situation between her and Alex and she wished things could go back to normal, but when she remembered his touch from that night, she honestly didn't know whether she would have been able to do it any differently than she did.

"That's what I thought." Tess smiled devilishly.

"What?"

"You enjoyed it too much, huh?" she winked at Claire.

"Excuse me!" Claire was getting more and more annoyed with her sisters questions.

"Oh come on, Claire. Woman to woman, he was good, wasn't he? I know he was, I can see it in your eyes."

"Can we please not talk about this right now? Or ever actually." She said and hurriedly got into the car. "Let's just go back home, OK?"

"OK." Tess agreed. "But I still think you enjoyed the Alex lovin' and you don't wanna admit it." She said and took the front passenger seat next to Claire.

"OK, first of all, I beg of you don't call it Alex lovin'. And second of all, even if I did enjoy it, you will never know."

"Oh I already do." Tess grinned. "I can read your mind, you know. Seriously, your eyes say it all."

"I'll tell you what my eyes are saying now. They are saying 'shut up or I'll leave you here and you will be walkin' home'. That is what they're saying.

"OK, subject closed." Tess laughed and after a pause added. "For today."

"The night is quite warm, I think you will enjoy the walk." Claire said firmly as she sent Tess an icy cold look.

"OK, not a word more." Tess promised. "And I wouldn't give up that easily if you weren't that scary." She laughed.

"You think I'm scary now? You should see me on my bad day." She proclaimed.

"Oh I have and that's why I know how scary you can be." Tess winked at her sister and they both started laughing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next day Alex and Nick had to go to the town for some supplies. As they were on their way over, Alex couldn't stop thinking about Claire and her unexpected behavior during their evening with the pub. He couldn't understand why she would even comment on his drinking. She never seemed to have a problem with that, moreover she herself like to drink a beer or two once in a while. He didn't get the sudden hostility towards him and his drinking habits.

"Hey, has Claire talked to you recently?" he decided to ask Nick whether he knows something about the whole deal.

"What do you mean? I talked to her just this morning." Nick answered surprised.

"Yeah, I know, but has she talked to you about anything important? Like why she keeps looking at me funny? And that outburst at the pub. She's acting weird and I feel like it's because something that I did."

"Well, she never mentioned anything." Nick said. "But you have a way of screwing things up without you even knowing it." He added laughing.

"Oh thanks mate." Alex replied sarcastically. "That makes me feel so much better."

"What? I'm just saying... It wouldn't be the first time that you did something stupid and didn't even know about it. You are good that way."

"Oh very funny." Alex pretended to laugh, but really he was getting a little bit annoyed by Nick's comments. On the other hand, though, he was perfectly aware of the fact that he has a talent of stuffing up even when he means well. He just had no idea what he might have done that made Claire so angry. He wasn't even sure that it was indeed something that he did, but remembering Claire's face expression, he felt like he was the one responsible for whatever it was that she was going through. He didn't like to see her like that and he certainly didn't like the tension that was building up between them.

"Maybe it's not even your fault." Nick tried to console him and he really didn't have anything better to say. "Maybe she was just in a bad mood or something."

"I think it was more than that. I don't know, there was something in her eyes." he sighed. "Like someone really screwed up badly. I just really hate to be the guy who could have done that."

"Then why don't you just ask her?" Nick suggested.

"I don't think she will tell me."

"You're best friends, you tell each other everything." Nick noted.

"Then why didn't she come to me in the first place? I mean she clearly had a problem with me the other night."

"Like I said, why don't you just ask her?"

"Maybe I will. It just keeps driving me nuts. Plus angry Claire really terrifies me." He added and they both started laughing.

"She can be pretty scary." Nick said in between laughs.

"Yeah, I don't wanna be on her bad side. Seriously." He said and couldn't stop laughing.

"This is driving me insane." Claire said as she was pacing nervously in the kitchen. Tess was watching her not really knowing what advise to give her. This has been the most she had seen Claire obsess about something. Except that it was easy to explain why she was obsessing over it so much, but very difficult to come up with a solution.

"I think that's the longest distance anyone has ever walked in the kitchen." Tess tried to lighten up the mood and for a while it worked as she saw her sister smiling. But her tense expression came back quite quickly.

"Seriously, how thoughtless and stupid can I be?" she paused for a moment. "Tess, I have no idea what to do… What do I do? Do I tell him or do I just forget about the whole thing and move on? And if I forget, how the hell do I do that?

"First of all, please stop walking or you're going to drive me insane." Claire finally stopped. "And second of all, just talk to Alex. You have to tell him or you're gonna go crazy yourself." Tess advised.

"And just what I supposed to say?" she looked at Tess meaningfully. "'Hey Alex, remember that night when you got stoned and don't know what happened? Well, I drove you home and we slept together.'"

"WHAT?!" they suddenly heard Meg's voice. She just entered the kitchen and apparently heard what Tess and Claire were talking about. They both looked like 5-year olds who just broke a family vase. "Did I hear you right?" Meg still wasn't sure if she understood everything correctly. "You and Alex…?" she looked at Claire questioningly.

"Yes." Claire answered blushing, still not able to believe that she actually did what she did that night.

"How did it happen?" Meg was curious.

"Exactly like I just said. Alex was drunk and I took him home and then he started saying all those things…"

"What things?" Meg was almost shocked to hear what Claire was saying.

Claire wasn't sure if she could handle talking about it again, but she also knew that she had to tell Meg everything, because maybe she would have some advice on how she should handle this whole situation.

"Well, he said that he loved and that I was the only person he trusts and all the things guy say to get women to sleep with them. And of course he was drunk, but I went for it. I, Claire McLeod, couldn't resist Alex's tender words and… I feel so stupid. It's like I was a totally different person that night."

"He told you that he loved you?" Meg didn't know whether to be excited or terrified by it.

"Yes, but he was drunk and he didn't know what he was saying. He didn't mean it."

"What if he did?" Meg asked, hopeful. "Maybe it wasn't just because he was drunk. I mean you and Alex have known each other for such a long time, it wouldn't surprise me if he had feelings for you."

"Oh don't be ridiculous, Meg. Alex is a mate. And he treats me like a mate too. What happened between us was stupid and irresponsible and I feel like such an idiot for letting it happen."

"Have you talked about it?"

"Well, the problem is." Tess started explaining. "That Alex was so drunk that night that he doesn't remember a single thing that happened."

"Oh my." Meg sighed. "That is not good."

"I know. And I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this whole thing. I mean I'm afraid to tell him the truth, because I know it's gonna freak him out. But then again I'm afraid that if I don't tell him and that if we don't talk about it, I just won't be able to treat him the way I used to. This is crazy!"

"I think you should tell him." Meg decided.

"That's what I told her." Tess agreed. "If you don't, things are just gonna get weirder and weirder between the two of you."

"Exactly! You have to talk to him and tell him what happened and then the two of you can get back to being friends again."

"Or more than friends." Tess winked.

"Tess!" Claire did not find that funny.

"What? I'm just saying. Maybe that night finally ignited long lost passion between you and Alex."

"OK, clearly you have spent too much time on the sun." Claire playfully hit her sister on the shoulder. "You're working inside today." she paused for a moment. "But you're right, I have to talk to Alex about it. Otherwise I don't know what will happen to our friendship."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Claire took a deep sigh as she added one more mile to the distance she'd covered in the kitchen. For the past half an hour she had been trying to leave the house and go tell Alex the truth about that memorable night. She knew she had to do it, she just wasn't sure she would find the courage to. But she was Claire McLeod, she was tough and she had to face whatever was going to happen.

She finally took one last breath and went out of the kitchen. As soon as she left the house, she noticed Alex's car pulling up. Her heart started beating faster as she knew that the time has come for her to come clean with Alex.

When he got out of the car, she started getting more and more nervous, but she was determined to make sure Alex knew the truth as soon as possible. She also wanted to make the process of telling him really quick, though she didn't have a slightest idea how to achieve that.

"Hello, Claire." Alex said as he approached her.

"Good day." She replied and for a moment tried to find the right words to start the conversation she knew she had to have with him. "Listen, I am sorry about what happened the other day at the pub."

"Yeah, what was that about?" he asked curious.

"Can we talk inside?" she suggested and he was surprised at how serious she sounded. Was he in that much trouble?

They slowly made their way to the Drovers kitchen where Alex sat down at the table, but Claire couldn't bring herself to do it.

"From what I noticed, it looks like I did something to piss you off and now you're mad at me." He asked looking at her intensely waiting for confirmation. But it didn't exactly happen. He was a little surprised by it, but decided to wait for her to explain everything. For a moment they just looked at each other in silence. "What is it, Claire?" he asked.

"Alex." She finally started. "You are probably going to hate me when I tell you this, but I think it's in both our best interests that you know the truth." She let out a deep sigh.

"The truth?" he asked a little baffled. "Geez, Claire, you're really scaring me here. What is it? What did I do?"

"It's not so much what you did, but more what we did."

"We?" he had no idea what she was talking about. "Why would you be mad about something that we both did?"

"I'm not mad about what we did. As a matter of fact I'm not mad at all. Actually I don't really know." She said after a while, still trying to understand herself what she was saying.

"You don't know whether you're mad? That's usually something that you knows."

"Yes, usually." Claire agreed. "But this is not usually. This is something that never happens. This is something that never should have happened. But it did, because you were drunk and I was stupid and I know I should have stopped it, but I didn't because you were being so adorable and…"

"Claire, Claire, Claire, slow down." He put both his hands on her shoulders. "I have no idea what you're trying to tell me. Can you please explain it?"

"OK." She took another deep breath. "Do you remember the night a couple of days ago when you guys came over and we hang out? We drank a couple of beers and then were sitting on the porch and talking?"

Her heart started beating faster and faster as she was trying to tell him the truth. Looking straight into his eyes, she felt weak in her knees, which was something that she hadn't felt in a long time. Or as a matter of fact, she didn't know if she'd ever felt that weak in the knees.

"To be honest, I remember that there was a night that we came over, but I don't remember much about it." He answered with a sigh. "I can hardly remember anything. Why? What did I do? Oh my God, did I do something really stupid? Or did I hurt anyone?"

"Alex, I told you. This is not about what you did. This is about what we did. You and me."

"I don't understand." Alex seemed to be totally lost.

"Well…" Claire finally started. "You had one beer to many and I decided to drive you home." She decided to leave out the 'I love you more than the chopper' confession for now. It wasn't that important, considering what happened later. She was trying to avoid his eyes, but it was really hard to do, as he was watching her closely. He was watching her every wink, every breath, every deep sigh. It was the most intimidating feeling she had ever felt. Or at least in a long time. And it was at that moment that she realized that she would not be able to tell him the truth. She just couldn't. "I walked you to the car and we started driving, but you realized that we were out of beer so you had ma drive all the way to Gungellan to get more." 'Oh my God, that is the stupidest story I have ever heard.' Claire thought to herself, but it was the only thing she could come up with under so much pressure.

Alex shot her an 'I don't get you, woman' look as he was waiting for her to say something more. But she didn't.

"That's it?" he asked, sounding almost a little disappointed. "That's why you were acting so funny around me? Because you drove me to Gungellan for beer when I was wasted?"

Claire realized how ridiculous that sounded, but she decided to stick to this story until she gathers enough courage to tell Alex the truth. Which could very well be never, and she was very well aware of that fact.

"Yeah." She said quietly. "Because it was so stupid. You were drunk and I should have taken you straight home and not let you drink anymore. But you were so persuasive and I just couldn't resist." The last part was of course true, but it pertained to slightly different circumstances than those described by Claire. She felt like such an idiot making up this story, but for the time being she felt like it was better than telling Alex the truth.

"And just how exactly was that supposed to make me hate you?" he asked.

"Did I say hate? Really?" she was simply playing dumb now. "Well I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"Oh give me a break, mate." He laughed. "This is nothing. Why are you getting so worked up about it? It's fine, no big deal." He added and looked into her eyes to make sure she was alright. She was trying her best to convince him that she indeed was.

"Are you sure?" she decided to play along to her stupid, stupid lie.

"Of course. Why would you worry so much about it?"

"I don't know, I just thought…"

"Well then next time don't think, but talk to me, OK?" he smiled. "It wasn't that bad, was it?" he poked her playfully on the arm.

"No it wasn't." she admitted and smiled back, trying to keep her composure.

"Well, listen, I would love to stay and hang out, but I have lots of work to do, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to head out." He said as he stood up. "But I'm glad we cleared everything up." He said as he pulled her in for a hug. His touch almost made her lose control the same way she did that night. When he finally let go of her and looked into her eyes, she was so afraid that he was gonna figure out that something was still wrong. But he didn't. "So we're good?" he asked hopeful.

"Sure." She answered as she smiled at him. "See you."

"Yeah, later." He answered and headed for the exit. He bumped into Tess on his way out. She was a little bit nervous knowing what he had just talked about with Claire, but she decided to talk to him anyway.

"Hey Alex, how is it going?"

"Good, good." He replied.

"So did you talk to Claire?" she asked a bit uncomfortable. "Did she tell you? About that night I mean?"

"Yeah, she did."

"And are you guys OK?"

"Yeah, we're fine. That was no big deal after all." He said as he headed towards his car.

No big deal? 'Oh Claire' Tess sighed as she had a pretty good idea why it was no big deal to Alex.

"You didn't tell him, did you?" she asked as she entered the kitchen.

"How do you know?" Claire was curious.

"I just bumped into Alex and he told me it was no big deal." Tess laughed.

Claire sent her a 'don't kill me' look.

"I tried, Tess, I really did, but he was looking at me and the words just didn't come out." She started explaining, as she knew how disapproving Tess was going to be of not telling Alex.

"So what did you tell him?"

"Some crappy story about how I drove him to town for more beer." Tess tried to say something, but Claire interrupted. "Don't even say it. I know how stupid that is."

"Yeah, almost as stupid as you sleeping with Alex." Tess joked, but Claire didn't find that funny at all. At least not at the beginning. She sent Tess an icy look, but couldn't help and started laughing as well.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It was a couple of days later and Claire still hadn't told Alex the truth about what happened that night. She was trying to wait for the right moment, but that moment never seemed to arrive. She learned to act more or less normal in his company, but the secret still was eating her up inside. She really did want to tell him, but every time she would close to it, she would lose concentration and all courage that she was trying to gather to tell him about everything.

It was a sunny Friday afternoon and Claire, Tess and Jodi decided to go to the pub and relax a little bit. Of course Claire wanted to stay and get some more work done, but Tess and especially Jodi managed to convince her that stopping the work for a while can actually be beneficial sometimes. And it's not that Claire didn't enjoy their company or the cold drink, but she always felt that she could be doing something more useful with her time.

"The fence in the east paddock looks like it's going to give in any minute." She started complaining as the three of them were sitting in the pub drinking beer.

"I know, but it's gonna last till tomorrow and Jodi and I can take care of it first thing in the morning, right Jodi?" Tess looked at her meaningfully.

"Absolutely." Jodi said enthusiastically. Of course getting up at 5am was not her favorite thing to do in the world, but even she noticed that for some reason Claire seemed to insist on working more and more the last two weeks or so and she knew even her boss deserved a break sometimes.

"So don't worry about anything, big sis." Tess winked at Claire, knowing exactly how Claire hated when she called her 'sis'. "Everything is under control and there is no need whatsoever for you to worry. This is a girls' night out and we are going to have some fun. From now on not a word about farming."

"Then what are we supposed to talk about?" Claire asked.

"I don't know. Clothes, cars, computers…" Tess started listing possible topics.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm an expert in those fields." Claire replied sarcastically.

"You don't have to be an expert in something to talk about it." Tess laughed.

"Of course." Jodi added. "I talk about stuff I have no idea about all the time." She said and all three of them started laughing. Claire finally realized that an evening like that might have been exactly what she needed. Just her and the girls talking about absolutely nothing. She never was a really girly girl type, but sometimes even Claire McLeod needed to become this type for a while and let her girls take care of her.

"It's a pity Meg couldn't come." Tess mentioned after a while. "A night like that would sure do her good."

"Yeah, Mom had other plans." Jodi said with a big grin on her face.

"No need for more info." Claire quickly jumped in.

"What a bummer!" Jodi pouted her lips. "And here I thought that I would finally be able to disclose private details of my mom's love life."

"Like I said, no need for more information, Jodi." Claire looked at her meaningfully and they started laughing yet again.

"Yeah, we definitely don't need to know the details." Tess said laughing.

"Well, if we're not talking about my mom's love life, how about we talk about our own?" Jodi suggested absolutely ignorant of the recent events between Claire and Alex. "Anything interesting to report girls?" she asked grinning and Claire tried the best she could to hide how nervous that question made her. Of course she didn't have to reply, but the mere thought of what happened between her and Alex made her extremely anxious.

"No, not really." Claire answered quickly and Tess could see how the mere mention of a love life made Claire feel. Tess wanted to change the subject fast, but what she suddenly saw made it absolutely impossible.

"Now here's someone who has always had a very rich love life" Jodi said looking at Alex who entered the pub with a pretty blonde by his side. "She's a hot little number." Jodi summed up the girl, not having the slightest idea how she was making Claire feel. Because even though Claire would never admit having feelings for Alex, seeing him with another woman certainly made her feel a pang of jealousy. She was only hoping that Tess and Jodi would not notice how frustrated she was to see Alex with someone else.

"Maybe it's not his love life." Tess was trying to make Claire feel better. "Maybe it's his business life. For all we know, she could be his business associate or something."

"Come on Tess, I'm not an expert on fashion, but even I know you don't wear dresses like that for a business meeting."

Sadly, Tess had to agree with her sister. The girl was wearing a really short and tight red dress and it definitely didn't look like a business type of outfit. And Alex's behavior certainly didn't qualify as business behavior. He had his arm around her waist as they were ordering drinks and it definitely wasn't a friendly embrace.

When they turned around, Alex noticed the three of them and apparently suddenly felt a great need to introduce his newest conquest to his neighbors. Him and the leggy blonde walked up to the girls' table.

"Good day, ladies." Alex greeted them. "Funny running into you here."

"Not that funny since it's the only pub in the 50-kilometer radius." Claire replied, certainly not amused by the whole situation.

"Yeah, right." He laughed. "Well anyway, I just wanted to introduce Molly to you. Molly, this is Claire, Tess and Jodi, my neighbors." He said and Claire hated how he called her 'a neighbor.' This sounded like he was saying 'This is the girl I see twice a month when our fence breaks or something'. And they were so much more to each other.

"Hi, nice to meet you guys." Molly said.

"Yeah, same here." Tess smiled, trying to be polite.

"Hi Molly." Jodi greeted her as well. Claire remained silent and she thought that Alex noticed that.

"Well, we'll just go and get a table. You have fun." Alex said after a while and he lead Molly to a table in the corner. Tess knew that this was bothering Claire a lot more than she would ever admit. And she could see the sadness in her sister's eyes. She wished there was something that she could do to make the situation less awkward, but unfortunately there wasn't.

For a moment they kept observing Alex and the girl and it looked like the date was definitely going great.

"Gee, why don't they get a room." Jodi commented as things started to really heat up at Alex's and the girl's table. She had no idea how uncomfortable this was making Claire and Tess for that matter too, since she knew about the night between her sister and Alex. Jodi was the only one who had no idea, and they couldn't even blame her, because had it not been for Claire and Alex's night of passion, Claire and Tess would probably be making fun of him and his girlfriend too.

When Jodi left for the bathroom, Tess asked concerned. "Claire, are you OK? We can leave if you want."

"No, I'm fine." Claire answered, but they both knew that she was lying.

It was about 2am in the morning, when Tess heard Claire's desperate calling.

"Tess!" she shouted. "Tess come over here right now!" she called again and Tess jumped out of the bed in panic and ran to her sister's room. She saw Claire sitting on her bed in her pajamas.

"What is it?" she tried to locate the reason for Claire's desperate scream, but everything seemed to be OK. "What's wrong? You screamed like you were being killed or something." She joked.

"It's worse." Claire replied and took a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with Alex."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

For a moment Tess looked at her sister as if she had just told her that the world is going to end in five minutes or something to that effect. Did Claire really admit to being in love with Alex? This couldn't be…

Tess was trying to look for any indication that Claire was drunk or that she was pulling her leg, but none of those solutions seemed to be true. Claire was still sitting on her bed, deadly serious, with an expression that confirmed what she just said.

"Am I hearing right? Did you just say…"

"Yeah." Claire answered quickly.

"Oh my." Tess sighed.

"I know." Claire laughed, but really she didn't feel like laughing. This realization hit her really hard.

Tess jumped into bed with her sister, because she knew this statement required further analysis and discussion.

"And it only took you what…Fifteen years to figure that out?" she joked, but Claire sent her an icy look.

"Time for jokes is over. This is serious, Tess." Claire insisted.

"I know it's serious. But it's not like you're dying or anything."

"I know, but I just realized that I have feelings for someone who clearly is interested in tall, leggy blondes."

"Well as far as I know, he also expressed interest in someone who is not a tall, leggy blonde." Tess noted.

"Yeah, when he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing." Claire sighed.

"Well he must have felt something for you, since the two of you… you know." Tess looked at her sister making sure she understood what she was referring to.

"Oh I know exactly what he felt." Claire proclaimed. "He is a man and since there was no tall, leggy blonde at hand, he figured 'Oh what the hell, Claire McLeod is a woman after all.'"

"Don't say that!" Tess looked at her sister almost hurt by this statement. "I will not allow things like that being said about my sister."

"But it's true. I mean, he's a guy, I'm a girl, he needed a girl so he decided to act on it. And what better way to get a girl to sleep with you than tell her that you love her."

"OK, now you're not only offending yourself, but Alex too. And yes, Alex has his way with women sometimes, but he is not such a pig. I dated him, remember?"

"Oh I remember." Claire grinned.

"So I will never believe that he would tell you all those things just to get you to sleep with him. There has to be something more to it." Tess was sure of it.

"Like what?"

"Like he loves you too and just hasn't found a way to tell you about it." Tess suggested and she really did believe that this was a possible scenario. And she wished with her whole heart that this was true, because she knew how much it cost Claire to admit that she loves Alex. If it turned out that there was no chance for the two of them, she knew that things might get really, really weird and uncomfortable.

"Yeah, right." Claire decided to laugh Tess' comment off. It seemed impossible to her that Alex might have any sort of feelings for her. Especially not after what she had witnessed at the pub earlier that night.

"You never know." Tess noted and for a short while the two of them sat in the bed in silence. Claire was the first one to speak again.

"Tess, this is crazy. This is not me. This is not even me at 15. I don't get crushes on boys that don't let me sleep at night. This is ridiculous. Why does it bother me so much?"

"Because it's not just a crush, Claire. And you know it. This is so much more. Obviously I have not been here for a very long time and haven't seen your relationship develop, but even I can tell there is something really extraordinary between the two of you. You have an amazing connection." Tess tried to tell Claire exactly what she thought about her and Alex.

"He's been my best mate for such a long time." Claire smiled "He was the one person I could always, always count on. He was there for me whenever I needed him, no matter what happened. Good or bad, he's always been here. I can't even remember the time that I didn't know him." She paused for a moment, what gave Tess a chance to process everything that Claire was saying. "How did it happen that I suddenly started seeing him in a different light? I mean people are cracking jokes about me and Alex all the time, but I just always thought they were just jokes. But now I don't know… There is a grain of truth in every joke, right?" she looked at Tess, but poor Tess really didn't know what she was supposed to say or do. She wanted to say something constructive, something that would make Claire feel better, but the situation was really tough.

"I think you need to talk to him." Tess finally said, realizing that this was the only way Claire and Alex might be able to resolve this whole thing.

"How? I mean it's bad enough that I have to tell him about the night that we spent together and on top of that I'm supposed to say that I love him?" Claire was getting more and more desperate. "Geez, Tess, when did my life get so pathetic?? I haven't had that much love trouble since I was like eighteen. Actually, I don't think I've ever been so hang up about one guy."

"Yeah, but Alex is not just any guy. He's Alex. He's special. And thinking about him requires special amount of time."

"But I can't start spending my days thinking about Alex and how I love him and he doesn't love me back and blah, blah, blah… I'm not like that."

"First of all, obviously even you are like that sometimes. Second of all, you will never know how Alex really feels unless you tell him everything."

"Oh I know how he feels. I think the whole damn pub knows how Alex feels."

"Claire…" Tess hated to see her sister like this. And she so desperately wanted to tell Claire that everything would be fine, but the truth was that she wasn't sure. Yes, she knew Alex definitely had feelings for Claire, but that didn't necessarily mean that everything was going to be OK.

"I'm hopeless." Claire finally stated and hit herself with a pillow. "Totally hopeless."

"You're in love." Tess smiled. "That's what it does to people." She grinned and hit Claire with a pillow as well. "Goodnight." She added and got out of Claire's bed. "Sweet Alex dreams." She called as she was leaving Claire's bedroom.

"Oh very funny." Claire said with a sigh as Tess closed the door behind her.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"So who's the girl?" Alex heard Nick's question as they were finishing work for the day and heading towards the house.

"What girl?" Alex didn't seem to know or pretended that he had no idea what Nick was talking.

"The blonde." Nick explained.

"Ah, the blonde." Alex grinned as they entered the house and exhausted collapsed on the coach. After a second Nick got up and went to get beers for the two of them. When he came back, he sat on the couch next to his brother and handed him the beer. "Thanks." Alex smiled.

"So who is she?" Nick asked again, hoping to get a clear answer.

"Oh, just some girl."

"Now that's very concrete." Nick laughed.

"Well what do you want me to say? She's just some girl I met at the truck stop. She dropped her purse, I picked it up, she smiled, I asked her out."

"You know, that's the problem with you Alex. With you it's always _some girl_. One this week, another one next week." Nick summed his brother up.

"What? Are you jealous?" Alex grinned at his brother.

"Oh give me a break. You know what I mean. And just when I think you could have something with…"

Nick tried to finish, but Alex cut him short.

"With who?"

"Oh you like don't know." Nick shrugged.

"I don't know!" this time Alex really didn't have a slightest idea what Nick meant.

"Oh come on, the whole damn town knows that you and Claire…"

"Me and Claire?" Alex laughed. "Get out of here! You must be joking."

"I'm not and you know it." Nick sent his brother a meaningful look. Alex didn't say anything. "Come on, it's obvious that the two of you grew really close for the last couple of weeks. You can't deny that. I mean, haven't you ever thought of Claire like that?"

At first Nick's questions seemed really ridiculous to Alex and he wanted to tell his brother to go to hell. But after a while he realized that those questions somehow were really valid.

"I don't know. I mean she's…" he paused for a moment looking for an appropriate word. "She's Claire."

"No kidding!" Nick laughed and looked at his brother funny.

"You know what I mean. She's just always been my mate and I can't imagine my life without her. But me and her romantically? I don't think so."

"Why not?" Nick was really interested in Alex's answer to this question.

"For starters she seems to hate me nowadays, so that's one reason."

"She doesn't hate you." Nick tried to convince him.

"Oh come on, she won't talk to me more than she has to, she runs away every time she sees her chance in avoiding a conversation with me. She keeps sending me those looks. I'm telling you, this is not a woman you wanna mess with. And she is the last person on this planet who would be remotely interested in going out with me."

"And you know that how?"

"I just know, OK? I'm not her kind of guy." Alex said trying to cut the conversation short, but somehow Nick seemed to notice a trace of sadness in his brother's eyes.

"And what exactly is her kind of guy?" Nick asked.

"Someone like Peter Johnson." Alex said with a pensive expression on his face.

"You mean a cheater and a liar?" Nick looked at Alex trying to understand what he meant.

"You know what I mean."

"No, actually I don't, because I don't see one single thing that Peter is and you aren't. You really should work on your self-esteem, brother dear." Nick laughed as he patted his brother on the shoulder. "Why are you so threatened by this guy?" Nick was curious. "Is it because he got Claire in a couple of weeks and you couldn't for 15 years?" Nick joked, but the joke seemed to hurt Alex really badly.

"Shut up, will you?" he shouted and seemed to be really offended.

"Found your soft spot, huh?" Nick grinned and continued torturing his brother. "You are just jealous of him, aren't you?"

"Would you stop with the bullshit! I am not jealous of Peter Johnson."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Nick smiled.

"You're crazy!" Alex was getting more and more impatient. "Get out of my sight!" he said and hurriedly left the living room.

"Goodnight." Nick called after him in a pretend sweet voice. He also smiled to himself, because he finally had his big brother all figured out.

Alex almost slammed the door to his bedroom. He was sick of Nick teasing him and making fun of him. What was he thinking making comments about him and Claire and about stupid Peter Johnson? He hated that knob, but it was for totally different reasons than Nick thought. Or was it? Did he hate Peter for breaking Claire's heart, or for stealing her heart in the first place?

"This is ridiculous." He mumbled as he took another gulp of his beer and sat on his bed. But Nick's words still echoes in his head. 'He got Claire in a couple of weeks and you couldn't for 15 years.' What if Nick was right? What if there really was more to it than he wanted to admit.

'Damn Nick and his stupid ideas' he thought as he was sitting on his bed thinking about the woman that he couldn't get for 15 years…


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Hey, Tess, what time is it?" Claire asked as the two of them were fixing one of the broken fences. Their cattle got really impatient the previous day and there were a couple of spots were the fences was totally useless.

"10:30. Why?"

"Alex promised to come by and help us with that." Claire said as she was untangling the wire. "He was supposed to be here at 10.00." she added as her movements became more and more nervous. "Damn cattle! Like we don't have enough problems without them breaking the stupid fences all the time."

"Hey, are you OK?" Tess asked very concerned, because Claire did not seem to be having a good day.

"I'm not OK. You know I hate relying on other people and the one time that I really need him, he's not here." She said almost mad. "That's what happens when you let blokes help you." She sighed. "They're useless."

"Maybe something came up." Tess was trying to play Alex's advocate. She didn't want to be mad at him. At least not more than she already was. "We don't know what happened. Maybe it was something important."

"You're right." Claire finally gave in. "I guess we'll find out eventually. In the meantime we need to fix those before dinner or the stupid cattle are gonna get away again.

"Yeah, this is fun. I don't think I've fixed that many fences since I've been here." Tess joked. "It's like all the fences in the world decided to get destroyed today."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's the fences' fault." Claire looked at her sister indulgently and laughed.

"It sure looks that way." Tess smiled. "Did I ever tell you I hate fences?"

"Would you rather be doing something else? Like cleaning the…"

"Don't even say that!" Tess cut her short. "Suddenly I have a new found affinity for fences." She decided.

"You're weird, you know that?" Claire laughed.

"That's like telling you that you're stubborn." Tess winked at her sister.

"Very funny." Claire pretended to be offended, but she couldn't stop laughing. "You think you got me all figured out, huh?"

"For the most part yes." Tess cocked her eyebrows and grinned. "After all, I've lived with you for two years."

"That doesn't mean anything." Claire shrugged. "There is still plenty that you don't know about me."

"You're right. For example I don't know when you are going to tell Alex that you slept together."

"I am going to tell him." Claire insisted. "I just need to find the right time."

"Yeah, I know. You've been saying that for two weeks." Tess looked at her with a meaningful expression on her face.

"I WILL tell him." She replied. "I will."

"OK, if you say so." Tess decided to give up and as soon as she did they saw Becky riding her horse towards them. When she was close enough so that they could hear her, she got off the horse and walked up to them.

"Hey, Claire, there's another piece of a broken fence about 50 meters from the one Jodi and I are fixing right now. I wanted to get it done and all, but we don't have any more wire. Do you have some?"

"We do, but we're gonna need it here." Claire replied and started thinking what to do."

"Do you want me to go to town and get some? But it's gonna take a while."

"No, you take this roll." Claire handed her the wire she'd been working with. "And I'll go into town. I need a drive anyway."

"OK, thanks. See ya."

"Bye Becky."

"So you're going into town, huh?" Tess asked curious. "Any particular reason you wanna go?"

"Not really. I just feel like a drive will let me clear my head." She replied and smiled. "Will you be OK here?"

"Yeah, sure. And when I'm done, I might just as well fix fences in all of Australia, 'cause I bet no place has more fences than we do!" she joked and got back to work.

When Claire arrived in Gungellan she really did feel like the drive let her regain some strengths. Not physical, because she didn't have a problem with that at the moment, but emotional. She hadn't been herself since the infamous night with Alex and being alone with Tess bugging her every five minutes actually felt pretty refreshing.

When she took care of everything she was supposed to, she decided to go to the pub and get some lunch. Somehow she didn't feel like facing Tess just yet and a quite lunch alone at the pub seemed like a really great idea. Little did she know, what she was to witness at the pub would make her lose all of her appetite.

Here he was, Alex Ryan, cuddling with the pretty blonde at one of the tables. She did not expect that at all. And it hurt her. This time not even because of what happened the other night, but because Alex was supposed to be helping her with the fences. She maybe could handle him not being interested in her romantically, but she couldn't handle him standing her up as a friend to be with some girlfriend of his.

For a moment she pondered on what to do. She could have just walked away and not cause a scene. And it was the polite way to do it. It was Claire McLeod way to do it. But since she hadn't been herself recently, she walked up to Alex's table and stood over him and Molly.

"Good day, Alex." She said with a pretend smile on her face. "Good day… Dolly was it?" she asked although she knew exactly what the girl's name was.

"It's Molly, actually." Alex corrected her.

"Yeah, that's right." She sighed. "So are you having a good time Alex?" she asked waiting for him to react, to start apologizing or something. But nothing of that sort ever happened.

"Yeah. Why the sudden interest in my well being?" he asked ignorantly, and this was when Claire really felt that she was about to lose it.

"I don't know, maybe because you were supposed to be helping me with the fences about 3 hours ago." She answered quickly and sent him a mad look. At least she tried to make it a mad look, but the truth was that it was more of a sad and embittered look. And this was when Alex finally realized why she was so cold towards him. At least he thought he realized that.

"Damn, Claire, I'm so sorry!" now he started apologizing. "I've just been really…"

"Busy?" she looked at Molly meaningfully. "I can see that."

"Listen, I can go over there right now and…"

"Typical." She shrugged. "Showing up when all the work is done." She paused for a moment. "You just stay here and have a great day." She said and even though Alex was trying to come up with something to say, he didn't say a word. Finally, Claire looked at Molly with all the sadness and anger that she had and said almost furiously. "I sure hope that when he sleeps with you he remembers that in the morning."

It was a second later that she realized what she just said. Maybe he didn't hear it. Maybe he didn't get it. Maybe she didn't really say it… But when she saw Alex shocked expression she understood that she did indeed say it and that she could no longer stay in Alex Ryan's presence. She had to get away from there, she had to get away from him.

With those thoughts she hurried out of the pub, before Alex could react in any way, before she could make a bigger fool of herself. So she ran and he just stood there, with his jaw dropped, unable to move.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It all suddenly started to make sense. As Alex stood there, unable to move and watched her rush out of the pub, he started to understand everything perfectly. The night that he got drunk wasn't about her letting him drink more beers. It was about…

"Holy crap!" he said to himself, but the whole pub heard it.

"What is it, honey?" Molly asked, totally ignorant of what had just happened between Claire and Alex.

"I… I gotta go." He said and ran out of the pub, hoping that he would still be able to catch Claire and talk to her. Although he didn't really know how to talk to her or what to say. 'Hey, I'm really sorry I slept with you and didn't remember it. I hope we can just forget about it and move on.' Everything that he felt like he could say just seemed so ridiculous. And he couldn't understand how he could ever, ever forget making love to Claire. And it threw him even more off balance when he realized that he was thinking of it as making love and not sex. This was definitely not the way Alex Ryan operated.

When he left the pub it took him a while to find Claire's ute. He could see that she was inside. When he got closer to the car he realized that she wasn't crying, but the expression she had on her face broke his heart into more than a thousand pieces.

For a while he just stood there observing her and trying to come up with something to say. Something that made sense. But his mind was totally overwhelmed with the piece of information that he had just learned and didn't know how to behave.

His thoughts were interrupted by Claire's firm voice. "Go away!" she said without even turning around.

"How did you…" he wanted to ask how she knew he was there, but he realized that it didn't really matter. What mattered was what he was supposed to do. He had no idea. On the one hand he wanted to run and get as far from all this as possible. But on the other hand there was his best friend, hurting, and he wanted her hurt to stop. It was just so much harder to comfort her when he was the one who put her in this condition in the first place.

"I said go away!" she repeated.

"We need to talk." He said gently although he was still not sure what to tell her.

"Says who?" she said abruptly.

"Claire, please…" he asked as he walked up to the car. He was now standing right next to the driver's window.

"Just leave me alone Alex!"

"I can't. We really need to talk. Please come out of the car."

One part of her wanted to leave and just never talk to Alex again in her life. But she knew it was not possible. She knew she would have to face him sooner or later, so maybe sooner was the best way to go.

She slowly opened the door and got out of the car. When she got out, her face was only inches away from Alex's. She couldn't help but shiver when she saw his intense look on her. She quickly stepped away from the car so that she was now about a meter away from Alex.

"I don't even know why I'm doing this." She finally said. "It's not like we have a lot to talk about. Unless you want details of…"

"Claire, stop." Her coldness was really hurting him, but at the same time he knew that he was the one responsible for the way Claire was being with him.

"Can you ever imagine sleeping with a girl and her forgetting that in the morning?" she finally started firing at him, which in some twisted way he found easier to deal with than her shutting him out. "Your ego will probably have to jump off a bridge or something."

"Claire…" he tried to say something in his defense, but before he could utter a word, Claire started talking again. And maybe it was better. Because he had no idea how to explain his behavior the other night.

"But you know what? The mere fact that it happened is not even the worst thing. The worst thing is that I was the one who let it happen. Because you know what, as much as I hate you for not remembering, I think I hate myself even more for letting it happen. You were drunk and I knew you had no idea what you were doing. And ironically, a thought that you might not remember that the next day even crossed my mind. But I shut it out, I tried not to think about it. I needed not to think about it, about anything. Because if I had been thinking, this would never have happened." She paused for a little bit trying to remember what else she wanted to say to him. "But when you kissed me and told me that you loved me, I just totally lost it. I stopped thinking. I turned into someone like those women who drug the guys they like so they can sleep with them…"

"Do women really do that?" Alex asked, but he realized that this was so not this conversation. And finally he plucked up to the courage to ask something else. "Then why did you do that? Why did you sleep with me? Why didn't you slap me when I started hitting on you? Why didn't you tell me to go to hell? Why, Claire? Why?" he desperately needed to know answers to those questions. He didn't get it. Whenever he would joke about the two of them being an item, she would get really pissed off. When Peter took them for a couple, Alex had never seen her so offended in his life. So why this time she didn't kick him or laugh at him. "Why?" he asked once again and studied her face intensely waiting for an answer.

For a moment she looked into his eyes and knew that she had to tell him something. And she couldn't lie to him anymore. She couldn't lie to herself anymore either.

"Because I… Because I think I'm in love with you." She finally admitted and realized how ridiculous that sounded. This was Alex's chance to make fun of her.

"What?" he wasn't sure if he heard it right.

"I said I'm in love with you." She repeated and this time he noticed a tear rolling down her cheek. "I don't know if I didn't realize it or if I was trying to deny it because I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. I was afraid that you would never treat me as anything more than a friend and that's why I couldn't resist you. I just… I wanted you so badly and I think I just took my chance, because there you were, saying all those beautiful things and I've wanted you to say them to me for such a long time… And you were always running after all the leggy blondes. Hell, you even dated my sister! And then Peter came along and you were obviously not available, so I went for it and convinced myself that I loved him."

Claire stopped talking for a moment. She needed to take a few breaths and wipe a couple of tears from her cheeks. She hated to be breaking down like this in front of him, but she also felt relieved that she finally told him everything that's been building up inside her for all this time.

"I don't know how all of this could have happened. All I know is that this night changed everything for me. For us. And it was great. And even though I said I would give anything to turn back time, the truth is that I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade this night for anything." She felt like she said the absolutely last thing she wanted to say to him. "And you don't even remember it." She wiped another tear from her eye and opened the door to the ute. "I gotta go." She said quickly as she got into the car.

She started the engine and drove off. She couldn't stay there with him looking at her like that. She had no idea she would get this emotional with all this. She knew this was going to be hard, but she didn't realize it would be this hard. And she was so scared of what was going to happen next. But she was glad she told Alex everything, she was glad she longer had to keep the secret that was driving her insane. She just wasn't glad about the fact that she might be losing her best friend.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Alex had never been so shocked in his entire life. He couldn't get Claire's words out of his head. 'I think I'm in love with you.' 'I wanted you so badly.' Could this really be true? Could it be that Nick was right all along? Why didn't he notice anything? How could it happen that Claire had all those feelings for him and he didn't see? And most importantly, why did it take 10 beers for him to finally admit that he was in love with her? Because he was and he knew that now. The second Claire told him that she loved him and the second those tears started streaming down her cheeks, he knew that she was the woman that he wanted. Drunk or sober, he knew that he wanted Claire McLeod.

For a moment he started wondering what to do. He wanted to go after Claire and talk to her, but he also knew that Molly was still waiting for him and he decided to couldn't be a pig to more women. He turned around and walked to the pub, but he realized that Molly was no longer there. He didn't know whether she figured out what was going on, or whether she just got tired waiting, but he was glad she wasn't there. He was going to talk to her eventually, but he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with Molly just now.

He walked back to his car and got in. For a couple of minutes he just sat there, still not being able to believe what actually happened between him and Claire. Them sleeping together, her telling him that she's in love with him, her tears, the hurt in her eyes as she was driving away. It all still seemed a little surreal. He wasn't sure how he could let all of that happen. If only he had realized he had feelings for Claire earlier, all of that could have been avoided. Claire wouldn't be crying and hating herself and he wouldn't feel like a total bastard. But he had to face the fact that it all did happen and the only thing that he could do right now as try and fix it.

At first he wanted to go and talk to Claire right away, but after a while he came to a conclusion that it was best to leave Claire alone for a couple hours, let her calm down and cool off. As much as he wanted to clear everything up with her, he got the feeling that she really needed some time to be on her own, or at least without him. He knew she had her sister and all the girls at Drovers and she should be fine. At least to some extent.

When he got home and saw Nick, he could tell that his brother wasn't happy.

"Where the hell have you been Alex?"

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry." Alex replied, which made Nick very suspicious, because he was expecting Alex to tell him to get lost or back off.

"Everything OK?" he asked, but when he saw his brother's face he realized that it wasn't. "What happened?"

"I screwed up, Nick. I royally screwed up." Ales said sighing. He went into the house and slouched on the couch.

"Wait a minute, can I get this on tape?" Nick joked. "Alex Ryan admitting that he screwed something up. Now THAT is something people will wanna hear!"

"Would you cut it out!" Alex mumbled. "I'm not in the mood for this."

"Alright, sorry." Nick answered and realized that it really wasn't the best time for him to tease Alex. His brother looked like hell and jokes about him was definitely not what he needed right now. "So what did you do this time?" Nick asked and looked at Alex curiously. It took him a while to respond, but he finally started telling his brother about the whole mess.

"Remember that night about three weeks ago when I got really really wasted?"

"The one you don't remember anything about? Like how you got home and all?"

"Yeah, that one." Alex confirmed. "Except that now I know how I got home."

"Really? How?"

"Claire took me home that night." Alex said very slowly, but quickly realized that this particular information was not in any way weird or unexpected.

"And this is bad how?"

"Because of what happened later." Alex confessed, as if that statement was supposed to explain everything to Nick. Needless to say, it didn't.

"And what happened later?" Nick felt like Alex could only form short sentences and he had to get everything out of him.

"We slept together." He said under his breath not sure if he did or did not want Nick to hear it.

"You what???" Nick was shocked. Alex sleeping with Claire McLeod was just about as probable as Alex giving up sex. Of course he would make stupid jokes about Alex and Claire from time to time, but to actually hear that they slept together was a totally different story. "You and Claire?" he repeated.

"Yeah, me and Claire." He sighed and paused for a second. "But I don't really remember what happened…"

"Wait, you just said…"

"I know. But that's what I found out from Claire. I don't remember anything, Nick. I slept with Claire and I don't remember it! Damn it!"

Tess had been worried sick when Claire didn't show up for lunch or for dinner, so when she finally saw her sister's ute pulling up, she didn't know whether to hug Claire or scream at her for scaring her like that.

"Where have you been?" she asked as Claire got out of the car. "I've been worried sick. We all have."

Claire looked at Tess and realized how stupid she had been to disappear like that for an entire day. Not only did she have a lot of work, but she made everybody worried.

"I'm sorry I left you with all that work…"

"You know it's not about work. We managed just fine without you. Even Jodi worked hard today."

"Times are certainly changing." Claire sighed. "I'm sleeping with Alex, Jodi is working. Crazy world." She tried to make a joke, but Tess knew that something was definitely wrong.

"Tell me what happened?" Tess insisted.

"Remember how I told you that I was waiting for the right time to tell Alex about that night?"

"Yeah."

"Let's just say circumstances made that time be today."

"You mean you told Alex you slept together?"

"Yeah." Claire took a deep breath. "I told him we slept together, I told him I love him and can't imagine him ever looking at me again. Telling him the truth seemed like such a great idea at that time, but I don't know anymore. Nothing will ever be the same, Tess."

"I know." Tess agreed and gave Claire a hug. "But it doesn't mean that it's going to be worse."

"How can it not be after everything that happened?"

"It will work out, Claire. It has to. You and Alex are too good friends for it not to." Tess smiled and took her sister's hand. "Come on, we'll get some chocolate or ice-cream and talk about anything but Alex Ryan, huh?"

"Sounds good." Claire smiled back and the two of them went into the house. Claire went upstairs to her room and Tess went to the kitchen to get ice-cream and chocolate. Meg and Jodi were there drinking coffee.

"Hey." Tess greeted them. "I need heaps of chocolate and tons of ice-cream." She said. "Claire is in a pretty bad shape and we need all the junk food that we can get."

"Why, what happened?" Meg was concerned.

"Let's just say that Alex already knows that they slept together." Tess explained.

"Why slept together?" Jodi was curious, as it all seemed to be brand new information to her. "Alex and Claire slept together?" she asked and didn't even need to wait for an answer as Tess' and Meg's faces said it all. "Why am I always the last one to know?" she asked trying to look really hurt. Meg and Tess only laughed.

"Well, I'll go upstairs and try and rescue Claire from obsessing over all this. Wish me luck." She sighed and disappeared on the stairs.

"So Claire slept with Alex?" Jodi asked her mother when Tess was gone. "How? When? Why?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Meg was really amused by her daughter's curiosity.

"Please, you have to tell me everything." Jodi insisted.

"Jodi, this is none of our business. Plus I really don't know much."

"You know more than I do." Jodi was sure, but Meg only smiled and said. "Just drink up your coffee."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 **

It was about 10pm and Nick was getting ready to go to bed. He noticed that Alex was sitting on the porch outside with a beer in his hand. At first he wanted to just leave him alone and go to sleep, but he decided to make sure that his brother was OK.

"Hey mate." He said as he opened the door so that he could talk to Alex. "Everything OK?"

"As OK as it can be." Alex sighed. "I just called Molly about an hour ago."

"Oh." Nick replied. "I take it she wasn't too pleased, huh?"

"Not really." Alex confirmed. "But she should be fine."

"What about you? Are you going to be fine?"

"Of course I will be. It would take much more to break me." He tried to smile, but Nick could see that this whole situation with Claire was really getting to him. He'd never seen his brother like that.

"Well, take care. I have a lot of work tomorrow so I'm gonna turn in. And I would really appreciate some help, you know."

"No worries, mate." Alex assured him and Nick went back to the house. Alex knew that he hasn't been of much help recently and he did intend to change it. But right now he really needed some time to himself to try and come to terms with everything that was going on in his mind and in his heart. The unresolved situation with Claire was driving him insane and he knew that he needed to talk to her. And the sooner he did, the better it was for everyone involved. What he was going through was almost unbearable and he was scared that Claire was going through the exact same thing. And he hated the fact that he was the one who put her through all this. He needed to talk to her, to explain everything. And he needed to do it now.

He ran back to the house and grabbed the keys to his car. He almost jumped into the car and immediately started the engine. He wanted to get to Claire as soon as possible, but he also knew that he'd rather didn't kill himself on the way, so he tried to drive fast but also cautiously.

When he finally reached Drovers Run, he jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. At first he just wanted to go in, like he usually would, but since it was quite late, he decided to knock. Tess was the one who opened the door. She was holding a kitchen knife in her hand.

"Not planning on killing me, are you?" he joked.

"I don't know." She replied. "Depends on what you want."

"I need to talk to Claire." He said determined.

"I don't think it's such a good idea, Alex. You've already…"

"I know I've been a bastard and a pig, Tess. No need to remind me of that. But I really do need to talk to your sister."

"I don't know Alex…" Tess knew that Claire was feeling a little better, but she still wasn't sure whether a visit from Alex was a good idea.

"Please." Alex almost begged and when Tess looked into his eyes, she just couldn't say no. She knew that no matter what had happened, Alex would never intentionally hurt Claire.

"OK, but remember that I have the knife." She grinned and then sent him a serious look.

"I will." He replied smiling and started climbing the stairs. When he finally reached Claire's bedroom, he hesitated for a moment before coming in. He desperately needed to talk to her, but he was so scared of how the conversation was going to go. He was so scared of hurting her again, but he couldn't go on living with this rift between them. And he was sure that Claire couldn't either.

He knocked on the door, but there was no response. He knew Claire was not sleeping, because if she was, Tess would have told him so. He gently pushed the door open and saw Claire sitting on her bed eating ice-cream. She was leaning against a pillow and was wearing her robe. He could tell that she'd been crying, probably more than what he saw earlier in Gungellan, but he also realized how beautiful she was.

"Tess, can you…" Claire started saying something, but didn't finish as she lifted her head up and saw Alex standing there. "What are you doing here? You came to torture me some more? My performance in front of the pub wasn't enough for you?"

"Claire, don't say that…" he said softly, almost scared that if he was louder, it would break her. "I came here because I needed to talk to you."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." She said as she got out of the bed and walked up to the door to open them. "I think you should go." She showed him the way out, but he wouldn't move.

"No. We need to talk Claire. About what happened the other night, about what happened today, about everything. And I'm not going anywhere until we do."

"I think we talked enough in Gungellan." She said firmly.

"No we didn't. You did." He noticed. "You were the one who did the talking and you drove off before you even gave me a chance to say something, to explain."

"And just what did you want to explain? Why you have to get drunk to be nice to me? And how you can sleep with someone and not remember it the next day? Is that what you want to explain?" she looked at him emotionally and he knew she was about to cry. He would give anything to not let that happen, but unfortunately it was not totally in his power.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want to explain." He looked into her eyes and placed his hands on her shoulder.

"Don't… don't touch me like that." She said almost teary eyed and broke free from his embrace. "Please just go." She told him and turned around so she didn't have to face him anymore.

"I can't go. Not until I tell you what I came here to say." He said firmly and he knew that this was now or never. The time has finally come to be honest with her and with himself.

"And what is that?" she said almost bored. She knew him and knew he wouldn't leave, so maybe it was better if she listened to him.

For a moment he just stood there looking at her back and praying that the words he was about to say would sound true and convincing.

"I love you." He finally uttered and was waiting nervously for her reaction. At first she didn't say anything, but after a while she turned around and shot him a hateful look.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she said almost crying. "Why?"

"What do you mean?" he asked a little baffled.

"How many beers have you had today, huh?" she asked with so much hurt in her eyes that it almost killed him. "You can't just come to me every time you are drunk and tell me that you love me. This is not fair, Alex! I have feelings, you know."

"Claire, you don't understand." He said softly as he walked a few steps towards her. "I really do love you. And I've had one beer today, so I am absolutely and completely aware of what I'm saying to you right now." He waited to make sure that she was looking at him. "I love you. I think I always have, ever since we first met. I know I always admired you, the way you were helping your dad on the farm. How devoted you were to him and this land. And then when he died, I couldn't believe how you started doing things on your own. Everybody kept saying you wouldn't make it, but you were so stubborn and you made it. You are the strongest woman I know, Claire. And you're amazing." He continued as he walked yet one step closer to her. "I love the way you always take care of everything and everyone before you take care of yourself. You were a wonderful daughter and now you're an even better sister to Tess. And you're the most amazing friend anyone could ever have. You were always there for me when I needed you and I was so stupid for not realizing sooner how much I loved you. Because I do, Claire, with all my heart. Now I don't know what I said to you that night that we… you know… And I will never stop hating myself for not remembering it, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. I'm sorry about the other night, I'm so sorry… But the only reason I did what I did is because I was so afraid to tell you how I felt. So whatever I told you then, I'm sure it was exactly what I was feeling but was to afraid to admit."

Alex finally stopped talking, feeling that he had said everything he had to say. He looked at Claire, terrified of her reaction. She was staring at him in shock, tears streaming down her face, unable to say anything. He got frightened as he had never seen her like this. He wasn't sure what to do or what she wanted him to do, but after a while he just couldn't stand to see her like this so he finally put his arms around her and held embraced her. He wanted to hold her close, as close as possible, to make the pain go away. He was ready for a "get off me" or "don't touch me" from her, but she said none of those things. Instead she let him hold her in his arms, the way she had wanted to be held for such a long time. Because no matter what Alex had done and no matter what had happened between them, being in his arms like this seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

They no longer needed words, the closeness of their bodies was enough to convey everything they wanted to say.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I know it has been literally YEARS since I last updated this story, but since I hate it when authors leave their stories unfinished, I decided to give this story somewhat of an ending. I wrote two additional chapters to conclude the story. I hope the ending is OK with you all.

**Chapter 15 **

After a couple of minutes of holding Claire in his arms Alex realized that she finally stopped sobbing. However, he didn't let her go. Holding her felt so wonderful that he was afraid that if he let go, she would run away. But when he finally did let go, she didn't run away. She hardly moved. He wiped a tear from her right cheek and ran his fingers through her hair. She shivered as she looked into his eyes. Her mind was still telling her that this was Alex Ryan and she should be careful, but her heart was telling her to trust it and trust Alex. She took half a step closer to him so that their faces were now only inches apart. For a couple of seconds they just looked at each other, their hearts beating faster than they had ever beaten.

Even though they both wanted this for so long, neither of them used to even dream that this would happen. There was still a lot that they needed to discuss, but they both felt that this was not the time. For now, they just wanted to be with each other, no questions asked.

"Are you sure you're not drunk?" Claire finally asked, making the atmosphere a little less uncomfortable.

"I swear." He smiled. "I am not drunk. I meant every word I said. I don't know how it happened or why it had to happen the way it did, but I do know that I love you."

Hearing him say that again Claire felt like she was the happiest woman alive. Sure, there were still some issues that they needed to sort out, but they didn't seem to matter now. All that mattered was that they were together.

It was hard to tell who made the first move, but after just a couple of seconds their lips were locked together and they were lost in each other once again. Alex couldn't believe that he had kissed Claire before and forgot all about it. She tasted so good. He couldn't quite put his finger on what she tasted of, but it was the most amazing taste ever. How come he never did that before? If he only knew…

Claire remembered exactly the way Alex tasted that infamous night after his drunken love confession. This time he tasted even better. And she had waited for such a long time to be able to taste his lips. Even though she had never admitted it before, she had longed to kiss him for years. And now that she knew he felt the same way about her, everything was just perfect. Exactly the way it was supposed to be.

When they suddenly broke apart for air, Claire looked at him with a more serious look on her face.

"What is it?" he asked concerned.

"If you don't remember that tomorrow morning, I'm going to kill you." She said jokingly, but he knew that she wasn't kidding. But he also knew that there was no way he was not going to remember all of it the next day. He was never going to forget that kiss and the way they were right this particular moment. He knew he would remember this for the rest of his life.

"I won't forget." He assured her. "I never could." He smiled. "You and me together like this is all I ever wanted, Claire. All I ever wanted." He added and started caressing her face with his right hand. She shivered when she felt his touch on his cheeks. No one had ever touched her like this and she never wanted anyone but Alex to be with her like that.

"Alex, we…" she tried to say something, but he placed his finger on her lips.

"Shhh, don't say anything, Claire." He begged. "Don't say anything, don't even think. Just…" and with that he kissed her again, hungrier and more passionate than ever.

***

The next morning Claire woke up to the sound of someone breathing in bed beside her. She was used to waking up alone, so this felt a little strange to her. Strange, but at the same time wonderful and right. She remembered the last time she woke up next to Alex and it felt so totally different now. The other night all she could think about was how she could let it happen and how to get away from him, and now all she could think about was that she wanted to wake up next to Alex for the rest of her life.

She smiled to herself as she snuggled back into his arms. She was being careful as she didn't want to wake him up, but after a while she realized that he was no longer asleep.

Alex opened his eyes and looked around a little shocked.

"Oh my God, what am I doing here?" he asked looking at her nervously. "What happened last night?" he asked.

For a second Claire looked at him terrified, but after looking at him for a longer while she knew that he was just screwing with her.

"You pig!" she laughed as she hit him with the pillow.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it." He giggled.

"Stupid." she said again as Alex's had had another close encounter with the pillow.

"You silly girl." He teased her. "How could you think that I would forget? That was one amazing night, huh?" he grinned as he kissed her neck.

"Well, I've had better." This time she decided to tease him a little bit. He turned away from her looking offended. "Don't worry, you'll get there." She continued to tease him and burst into laughter. "You are so cute when your pride is hurt." She smiled as she kissed the back of his head. He turned around and kissed her on the lips.

"You are cruel, Claire McLeod." He said still kissing her.

"I know." She grinned. "But you deserved it." she looked at him meaningfully as she nestled into his arms, right where she now knew she belonged.

"I know." He agreed, taking her hand in his. "But I promise I will be good from now on."

"You'd better be." She said firmly as she gently squeezed his hand. "And don't you ever dare tell me that you love me when you're drunk."

"I promise from now on I will only tell you that I love you when I'm absolutely sober. Or a little drunk." He said after a while and they started laughing.

***

When Tess came into the kitchen, Meg, Jodi and Becky were already having breakfast, but it was easy to notice that her sister was missing.

"Where is Claire?" Tess inquired.

"We don't know." Becky answered. "But we figured she had a rough day yesterday so we decided to let her sleep in."

"Yeah." Meg agreed. "She deserves a break every now and then."

"Did any of you see Alex?" Tess asked, realizing that neither of them knew about Alex's visit last night.

"No." Becky answered. "Why would we?"

"Alex came over last night." Tess explained. "He wanted to talk to Claire and I waited for him to leave, but I fell asleep."

"Do you think she killed him?" Jodi asked deadly serious, but Tess, Becky and Meg couldn't help but laugh.

"You and your ideas." Meg reprimanded her daughter.

"What? She's a scary woman." Jodi insisted and all four of them started laughing again. "I think we should check." She added and headed for the stairs.

"Jodi!" Meg tried to stop her, but Jodi was fast and climbed the stairs almost immediately. Tess and Becky followed and Meg couldn't help but go with them.

When they reached Claire's bedroom, they realized that the door was slightly ajar, so they decided to take a peak. Tess leaned over the door and almost jumped after she got to see what was inside Claire's bedroom.

"Oh my God!" she said looking frightened.

"What? There's blood everywhere?" Jodi continued with her murder ideas. "I knew it!"

"Oh shut up, Jodi." Becky laughed and playfully poked her on the arm.

Of course all of them could not wait to see what shocked Tess so much in Claire's room. They pushed the door to her room a little bit more open and discovered that Claire and Alex were in bed together. They all smiled at this beautiful sight.

"OK, that's it, we're coming back to the kitchen." Meg decided after they've been staring for about 30 seconds. "This is not nice." She said and looked at the girls meaningfully. "Come on, downstairs." She said again and the rest followed her into the kitchen.

"Hey, are you sure he was breathing?" Jodi wouldn't give up and all of them burst into laughter.

"They looked so cute together, didn't they?" Tess smiled in a dreamy voice.

"Yes, they did." Meg agreed. "I just hope he remembers everything this time."

"Yeah." Tess said and grinned. "He'd better or I'm gonna kick his ass."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

It was already evening and Tess had been really patient with Claire not disclosing any particular details of the previous night, but there was only so much that a girl can take. It helped that she and Claire didn't really see much of each other during the day, but now that she was in the kitchen and Claire just came in to get dinner, Tess knew that she couldn't take it any longer. She needed to know what happened.

When Claire sat down and started drinking her coffee, Tess began looking at her intensely. At first Claire didn't pay that much attention to it, but after a while she got a little bit annoyed.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"What do you mean what?" Tess couldn't believe Claire didn't know why she was looking at her like that. "Are you gonna make me beg for information?"

"Information about what?"

"You and Alex." Tess looked at her sister meaningfully.

"Oh, that." Claire said under her breath and took a sip of her coffee.

"Oh that?" Tess was almost indignant. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Mhm." Claire replied and had to try really hard not to burst into laughter, because she was very aware of the fact that she was driving her sister crazy.

"Claire!!!" Tess was getting more and more impatient. "Please don't do this to me. Remember that I was the one who let him in last night, so whatever happened or did not happen, happened or did not happen because of me." She said proudly.

"Do you even listen to yourself sometimes?"

"As a matter of fact I do." She said a little offended. "But we are not here to discuss my speaking capabilities."

"You're right. We're here to get dinner." She said as she took a slice of break and stood up to take butter from the fridge.

"Claire!!!" This time Tess was really loud and Claire was sure her sister was heard at both Killarney and Wilgul.

"You are so pathetic." She said laughing.

"I can't help it." Tess admitted. "And now please just tell me what happened yesterday. Before the… you know… 'Cause I'm sure THAT happened as well." She cocked her eyebrows and grinned.

"You are such a nosy body." Claire couldn't believe her sister. "When will you ever learn?"

"Never, my dear sister. Never." She said and Claire realized that she couldn't torture Tess any longer. It was fun while it lasted, but the truth was that she really did want to share something about last night with her sister. She never was the kind of girl who liked girl talks and all that stuff, but with Tess being there Claire was becoming more and more like her and sometimes needed to blab to her sister about her boy troubles. Or sometimes lack thereof, like in this case.

"Let's just say that Alex and I cleared everything up and realized that what happened that night when he was drunk happened for a reason." Claire said with a huge smile on her face.

"So Alex feels the same way about you?" Tess asked in a hopeful voice.

"So he says." Claire grinned.

"Aww, this is so wonderful." Tess jumped out of her seat. "See? I told you everything was going to be alright. You should really listen to me more often, big sis."

"I'll remember that the next time someone sleeps with me and forgets all about it." She said, letting Tess know that she didn't really have any intention of listening to her little sister again.

"Yeah, 'cause that happens so very often." Tess laughed and after a while she added. "Let's just hope there was only this one time."

"Thank you." Claire grinned. "I don't think I'd be able to deal with something like that again." She sighed and they heard a car pulling up.

"This must be Alex." Claire said with another huge smile on her face. "I gotta go." She added quickly and rose up from her chair.

"But Claire, I need more details." Tess insisted.

"Make them up on your own." Claire advised. "You're good at that."

"Very funny." Tess sighed, but Claire didn't catch that as she was already outside walking towards Alex's car. He got out and hurried to give her a hug.

"Hey." He greeted her with a smile as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey back." She answered smiling, the glow of happiness in her eyes.

"So is there anything in particular that you want to do tonight?" he asked as they were walking towards the car.

"Yeah. Can I drive?"

"Sure." He said as he threw her the keys.

"Wow, I never thought you'd let anyone drive this thing." She teased. "I feel special."

"Well, you are special." He looked at her with affection.

"Gee, I think I'm going to blush." She laughed.

"You're cute when you're blushing." He noticed with a grin.

"OK, that is enough for now, Mister." She ordered. "Now off we go." She said as she started the car.

"Yes sir." He agreed as he sat comfortably in his seat. When Claire started driving, he was looking at her amazed and happy that he could finally look at her that way without feeling weirded out and uncomfortable. It still did feel a little bit weird, but is also felt right and both of the them knew it.

For a couple of minutes they were driving in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the fact that they finally knew they were in love with each other.

"So where are we going?" Alex finally asked.

"I don't know." She replied smiling.

"What do you mean you don't know? You said you knew what you wanted to do tonight?" he said a little bit confused.

"And I do." She grinned. "I wanna go somewhere, but I have no idea where. Just somewhere."

"You are becoming more and more weird. You spend way too much time with Tess." She summed her up and she couldn't help but laugh.

"I just want to go somewhere with you. It doesn't matter where, just somewhere where we can be far away from everything. I have this really strange urge to be away from everything today. I don't know why, I just do."

"Well, be my guest." He agreed. "Gotta love a woman who knows what she wants." He grinned.

"Well you'd better love only one woman who knows what she wants." She sent him a meaningful look.

"Yeah, she's great. I can't wait for you to meet her." He joked and she knew this was something she was gonna have to get used to. She didn't mind his jokes, as long as they were just jokes. And somehow she knew they were.

"OK, we're here." She suddenly said and pulled over.

"Here meaning where?" he really couldn't keep up with her.

"I don't know, but this exactly where I want to be tonight." She said as she got out of the car. He soon did the same.

They were at the side of someone's paddock overlooking a small creek in the background. It looked a little bit like the one in Drovers, but was a little smaller. There were also more trees surrounding it. It really wasn't anything that out of the ordinary, but somehow it seemed magical to Claire. It was most likely because she was in love, but she felt like she could stay there the whole night.

She took a couple of steps forward and sat at the border of the paddock and the road. There was a small meadow there and even though she knew that technically they could be trespassing, she didn't seem to care.

For a moment Alex was looking at her funny, but then he realized that this was exactly what he wanted as well. To be there with her, without worrying about anything for a while. He sat next to her and put his arm around her.

"So this is what you had in mind when you said you knew exactly what you wanted to do?" he asked running his fingers through her hair.

"Precisely that." She smiled and kissed him gently on the lips. "Doesn't it feel wonderful to be here?" she asked as she looked at him glowing.

"Yes." He admitted. "Yes it does." He sighed as he kissed the top of her head. She nestled into his arms and she felt like she was at the top of the world. She had no idea where she was, but even though it was really beautiful, she couldn't help feeling that the only thing that mattered was that she was in Alex's arms.

THE END

A/N: That's all folks! Thanks so much for reading the story and sorry it took me so long to finish it!


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